The Listening Zone

A selection of eleven light-hearted stories and a corner shop trilogy.

SIMPSON by Ian Mallender

There was no doubt, Simpson was the boss: that ginger cat, the youngest member of the family, ruled the roost… It was a catastrophic day and that blasted cat started it. And the tale proceeds with one antic after another as this cat creates chaos.

THIRTY SOMETHING by Lynda Wakeling

Three is such a sexy number, all voluptuous curves – a bit like me, really. And nine doesn’t look too bad either. But forty! Forty is simply hideous. Forty is old and stuffy and past giving a second glance to. Forty is saggy bottom and grey hair and I don’t want to be forty. So she decides to have her hair done– get a new look, but all does not go well.

BUBBLE TENNIS by Pam Weaver

Northerner, Kirstie, working in London hasn’t made any new friends yet, and finds difficulty with southern reserve. One morning the tube stopped in a tunnel and some teenage girls started to play bubble tennis. Soon the whole carriage had joined in – that is until the train started again and everything went back to normal. Except, during the game she had recognised another northern accent and she and Greg got acquainted…

SIXTH SENSE by Pam Weaver

“Hi, Cathy. This is Chad….” “I’m Coming to England… I gotta see you again. The usual place, OK. Call me back.” But Chad had misdialled and reached Jill instead. He called again, he sounded nice so Jill decided to keep the meeting thinking, with a touch of jealousy, Cathy was a lucky girl. But Cathy is not a young girl and Jill is blind. A romance.

ACTING ON IMPULSE by Pam Weaver

Liz and her husband do not agree on how the antique business should be run. Liz insists that they give their customers fair prices; her husband is more interested in making money. By doing what she thinks is right Liz avoids some disreputable dealers and ends up with a valuable miniature.

A FITTING TALE by Joan Stanley

A country bumpkin goes to London to find a ‘new look’. She ends up in Saville Row and dares to enter a prestigious ‘shop’. This is a true story. How much did I spend? I’m not telling. Suffice to say that I went to London with the intention of committing actual bodily harm to my flexible friend and in the event it was only mildly abused.

I’VE GOT A LITTLE SHOP by Joan Stanley

The first part of a trilogy as the old country shopkeeper relates some of the events that have taken place in her shop. …Never have time to put me feet up, in the normal way. You see, I’ve got a little shop… The apples are polished. The pears stood up on their fat bums, beg pardon, bottoms. The bananas can get a bit contrary.

DO COMPUTERS IMPROVE A MAN’S IMAGE? By Mike Stanley

Realising grey hair has made him look more distinguished, and this is related to stress, Eric, a mathematical modeller of high repute, decides to accelerate the rate of growth of his silver tints by taking breaking in a new computer. He is hoping that Her-At-Home will be so much in awe of his silver crown that she will forget all about diets, exercise and heart disease.

JUNK by Joan Stanley

“Antiques, my eye. He recognises a mug when he sees one. He gets them tins in ’specially for Uncle Jim. He’s a rip-off merchant… You mark my words when Uncle Jim goes to sell his so-called treasures he’ll find he’s bought dear to sell cheap.” Linda does not have much patience with her mother’s opinion of all things old, especially when it comes to using wax polish instead of modern sprays. By the end of the tale her mother sees another side to her brother’s character, too.

NUMBER’S UP by Joan Stanley

A duologue between two telephone boxes that find themselves in the same dump. Although Maisie and Dorothea come from opposite sides of the social street they become quite good friends as they share their thoughts.

FUN IN MY LITTLE SHOP by Joan Stanley

The second part of the trilogy. That milk round nearly got my husband a punch on the nose. One day I was sitting on the till. No. Not on the till, on its shelf. And a dirty great big bloke came in the shop. Stood in front of me and rolled his sleeves up…

FOOTPRINTS IN THE CORNFLAKES by Joan Stanley

Maggie is flustered, after many years of widowhood she is going on a date, and with a ‘posh’ man, Rupert. On top of that her teenage son is being moody. How is she going to reconcile these two ‘men’ in her life? Then they find footprints in the cornflakes. Rupert takes over and deals with the intruder, Jim is impressed, “OK, Mum. You win. You are clearly not safe to be left alone and I can’t be here to keep you out of trouble all the time.”

A STATIONARY TALE by Joan Stanley

Brenda and her kids are waiting, freezing, on the platform for the delayed train. Everyone is getting fed-up. There is an announcement on the tannoy, after which it does not get turned off and the waiting passengers can hear everything that is going on in the office…

GETTING DOWN TO IT IN MY LITTLE SHOP by Joan Stanley

The third part of the trilogy. As I was saying, the bubbles make the bath slippery. I was in a right pickle. Funny that – back to the beetroot! Now where was I, oh yes…