My name is Daniel Vartes. I am fifty two laboriously cynical years old.

During the course of my largely uneventful lifetime I have been variously described as tiresome, unexceptional and periphrastic.

But all that is about to change.

You see, I’ve begun to evolve; to become more than just the sum of my detractors’ insults.

I have come to realise that I have a higher purpose. I can see things that others overlook in their quest for global conformity.

The world is beginning to lose it’s grip on me.

Alfie says it’s because I’m the Messiah.

Alfie is very perceptive.....for a dog.